The Yellow Light

An poem i published on my other blog on Aug. 9, 2010

Jumpy music sets the beat
Around you all the youthful fire
Running, you’re running
On fumes, on nothing. You’re drained.
Nobody seems to mind or care.
I don’t know why you’re a wallflower…
You got the looks and the smile
All the pretty girls walk by
Curling their hair and sizing you up.
But you don’t even notice.
She’s waiting for you to dance.
Take her hand!
Just a ballad, a soft song.
Let her rest her head against your chest
And hear your heart beat.
Untie your tie and unbutton your jacket
In the parking lot
Leaning against the light post
Bathed in it’s yellow glow
You wonder why you don’t belong.
The dance is over
Everyone comes slowly out
Everyone goes to his or her car
To go home for the night
To go home.
Those girls smile at you
You don’t smile, you feel alone
But a boy walks by
He looks at you
You kind of smile.
Was that a smile?
But did they see you?
They don’t look happy about that.
The yellow light went out.
The light went out.

I Saw the Fire

I saw the fire! I saw it!
I felt its icy flames curl around me.
If the ground beneath me would only give out
I could fall!
But this ground is so solid,
So resistant to variation
That the inferno that rages over it
Covers it in soot, but does nothing
To change its nature.
If only I could fly or fall or die
I wouldn’t have seen that fire.
Say that you care.
Say it!
I want to hear those words come from your mouth.
And though I know they have no foundation
At least my naïve heart will rest.
At least it will rest while the world freezes over
And my thoughts are reluctantly imprinted on time.
Just in time. Just in time.
Before the fire erases my mind.
I’m weak now, but my thoughts are strong.
If only the ground would fall.

You

You never loved me as I loved you
You say otherwise but I know it's true.
And when I start to think of you
I still can't help but smile.

I wonder if you think of me...
If you show a smile I'll never see...
I wonder if I'll ever be
Free of memories of you.

You've moved on and so have I,
But still it almost makes me cry
Knowing that, yes, love can die
If it's not carried right.

I really don't want to remember
Your skin so cold in cold December
Your eyes so bright like burning embers
So deep like the black night sky.

I know I'll never again see you
But I know what we had was true
And now, alone, we'll make it through
Life.

Goodbye Summer

The snow is falling all around you
You can see your breath
The night is growing ever colder
But you aren't scared of death.
The maples have long since shed their leaves
The branches brandish icy spears
You whisper "Why?" into the sky
But you know nobody hears.
The wind picks up and lightning flashes
Such a painful, blinding light
The world so bright for just an instant
Now falls into perpetual night.
You make it up onto the bluff
And look down on the city lights
Yellow orbs wind like a snake
Through the black and white.
You pull your scarf over your mouth
Pull up your hood and look away.
Summer your time is over now!
Winter is here to stay.

The Jasmine

The August breeze
So warm, so humid
Blows through the live oaks
So old, so tired
And dancing, crunching,
All the leaves
Scatter around me
Accross the yard.

I think off all the days
That pass me
All the days that've passed me
As I sat here
As I sit here among
The night-blooming jasmine
Smelling the blossoms, so sweet
While the cicadas cry.

I think of the days
When you were around
When you kept up the roses
And kept up the house
And I think of sharing
A glass of iced tea
With you by the jasmine
But now I'm so alone.

As the sky turns bright red
And then fades to black
I close my eyes, smell the flowers
And the memories come back.
I'll lie down alone tonight
This one last time.
In the morning
I'm coming home.

The Fire

The sand under my feet
It’s so hot it burns
But to see that blue water
My spirit yearns
The waves lap the shore
So gentle and clear
And I know I’ll never
Come back here.
What’s sad is it’s not
For lack of desire,
For lack of need
But there is a fire.
A fire so fierce
That can’t be seen
Will erase this paradise
Will erase this scene.
The water quickly
Turns to steam
The seagulls fly away
I scream
The sand melts into
Shiny glass
And I get stuck
While my memories pass
Before my eyes
My fading eyes
I look up one last time
To see the blue sky
But it’s blue no more
It’s bloody red
And all the peace I had
Is dead.